Clemency Without Clarity

January 24,  2017 . 5 min read
There is nothing left for you here. No more pain or suffering. Let us run on tarred roads barefooted and take long plunges into white skies…

‘’ One day you will know it, the hurt and pain will all go away. You will not need to worry. You will be fine there. Not today. You are not there yet.’’ - Clemency.

This is a conspiracy of thoughts by a mind that yearns for an astute elaborateness, one that can only be imagined and never perceived. From moment to moments, we progress, this progression; time, there are thoughts in this moment and as you progress you may discover that these moments are independent of what you find here for it is time to be with your soul, that beautiful place only you can know.

(Photo: Aàdesokan, Tree, 2014)

Clemency: Time flies fast. It is eternally elusive as you have always been. In an effort to grasp my reality I have become confused but I’d say this is good. I’m happy to get confused because it is then I ask why.

Clarity: Why?

Clemency: Why am I how I am? I am eternally selfish. I want to cease to exist first. I want to experience your pain. I want it because I am selfish.

Clarity: I have no response to your inquiry but I shall respond to your declarations. You cannot bear my pain let alone experience it, your selfishness stems from an innate desire to love, you cannot love clarity for I am shrouded in mystery, abysmal mystery. You are how you are. You cannot have clarity.

Clemency: I do not have clarity! The best way to love; realize that it may be lost. There have been moments of clemency with clarity, I was devout to you. Have mercy on me for my devotion transmute to worship.

Clarity: It is all in the eye. I have let you look into mine and thus opened a door for you. This door and what it leads to you fail to be weary of. You must turn all your selfishness and self-love into selflessness. You have become nobody. You have chosen to love yourself, not clarity. It never began with you and it does not end with you; you are not the first and certainly not the last. You are insignificant. I am as well.

Clemency: If I let myself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what I really love knowing that it will not lead me astray, if I make it my task not to seek love but to find all the barriers that I have built within myself against it and destroy, love becomes effortless but you know me good clarity that I shall always have mercy. I am eternally selfish.

Clarity: You need two wings to fly, turn yourself from one extreme to another extreme, by opposites you will soar. Be empty of worry, why do you stay in prison when the gates are wide open! The loneliness, it makes you strong as it makes you weak. You do not have clarity.

Clemency: What can I do for you that no one else can? I already love you the way clemency only will. Not often do you find clemency allow its being to exist with dedication to a cause unusual and vastly uncertain. You do have a conscience. Every choice you make is a statement. I have always listened to every statement.

Clarity: Forgive me for keeping you and letting you go. You must know that you have always been beloved. Your being will always choose mercy over compromise. My being will always bring enlightenment but enlightenment you see is a burden that comes with an unpayable price. You cannot have clarity.

Clemency: The elaborateness of my insanity has begun to take me away from you. For once I chose clarity over myself, knowing what I can be will always make it easy to choose myself over and over again. Yet again you break me. I am always happy to die alone and proud. I am my soul. I have always known and I forgive you.

Clarity: The ocean is not its surface; these are pieces of what does not matter anymore. Even when the sky is heavily overcast, the sun hasn’t disappeared it is still there on the other side of those clouds. Find yourself. Find your sun.

Clemency: There is a unique kind of calmness that comes with clarity and it is astonishing to live with your choices, for them, by them and owning them. You have failed to heal my broken soul, for with clarity acceptance is pushed farther away and doubts sink deeper but then deep doubts posits deep wisdoms.

…. for there is a future where you would not need clemency but now you do not see that. You have always ignored my pathetic suffering, the self-control and calmness have always been a mirage to an unending chaos. You can always choose clemency yet you bring upon burdens when you seek clarity. You abandon love to process pain.  Do you realize that being one is greater than being infinite, do you see that moments are infinite but a soul is one, do you know that love may always want but you do not always have to know.

So I ask you who has gone through that which I have expressed in this moment. What would you do for clarity?

There is nothing left for you here. No more pain or suffering. Let us run on tarred roads barefooted and take long plunges into white skies for there is a future where you would not need clemency …

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