Playing Viola with a Goddess

July 18,  2018 . 5 min read
We sat on the edge of the cloud. The sky was purple and the sun was blazing pure white. This is a fragment from a fragment within a cycle of occurrence. Stay still, all is wild, all is silent. I exist and so do you….


“I have been running on that tarred road barefooted. I am exhausted and terribly fatigued. I do not know what to do any longer. It has begun to rain. Why am I here?”

We are here to watch. Do you see her green automobile?

“Why have you brought me here? You could have taken me to her. And now you say we are here to watch. You are hurting me.”

You are broken. You could no longer run. You are here, where your soul needs to be. A place only you can know.

“I am broken and I know that to break is to break, nothing more nothing less. I have always been here, this is a place no soul wants to know. I had hoped to run as fast as I could have. I cannot bear to watch.”

Then we shall not watch. You are feeling intensely. Tell me what you will. I shall create a melody for your soul from what you let out and I will play it for you.


“When a heart is breaking, when a heart is broken from its soul, I am summoned for we have all been taken apart from our one soul and we exist differently. So, I am willed forth, with a force that shatters my existence. I exist within a soul space until it becomes an act of defiance to exist within that soul space.”

You exhaust yourself when you linger. You reach a point where you fall to the wrath of expectations, this is a point where you are unable to give in such a way that the one who receives will be grateful. This melody will be a dissolution of your soul into light to see all that you are, to become radiance once again.

“To see all that I am, I have to give everything. If I give you all that I will, I lose everything. Only the creator may take a thing apart, now I shall take my reality apart. I forced a meteorite into her soul. I should not have but I was curious to unravel the mystery of the soul I had been summoned to.”

A meteorite within a black soul. You must know, I was there with you at the edge of the ocean, with the wind when you plunged into abysmal blue.  To unravel mystery is to give away your reality. Listen, a melody for your soul begins.

“Why did you not interrupt my falling in love with the smell of oils in her hair. I remember her twirling and dancing by the shore, I remember sitting and eating by the shore after our legs had been tied together, I remember painting a flower at the shore and how firmly she had clenched my neck. I am exhausted and now that my heart has finally broken, you have been summoned. This melody for my soul, let it string my soul away.

Playing viola with a Goddess…

It is light to see all that you are. Do not go getting attached. She played a soulful melody and then she enacts the most beautiful gesture. She places her hand on her chest and then she signals my exit.

(Aàdesokan, For Her, Them and Me, 2014)

Here I am, taking a long plunge towards the desert and as I fall from the clouds there are memories that resurface. I remember how with the rain it was easier to hope and not expect as I ran while the sun rose. I remember when a black star screamed my name with fear and love. I remember how I would not let anyone say that they love me. Do not dare to love me but I will always love you dear twenty something year old, with your mystery and the depths of darkness that quenches all the light that I have garnered, that I embody and now, I dance a dance with balance, for you must see that I am as I am and you are as you are.

This is a day of reckoning and now I may have peace. For in submission, I have bowed my head to weep with love. I am already leaving, transcending towards the illumination of conscious aloneness. Whatever you do, do for you. Here I am, with a sparkle of desert dust above me and if I find rock beneath this desert sand, I know that there will be water and if there is no water at least I have played viola with a Goddess and that is fulfillment. If a man is reborn, does he become new? I hope so. I hope there are unnumbered countless chances to remember to exist

A black soul within a black star played viola with a Goddess. They sat on the edge of the cloud. The sky was purple and the sun was blazing pure white. Stay still, they existed and so will you….

© Aàdesokan 2019.  All Rights Reserved.